Heartstorm
by Kiira-san
Summary: After being cooped up inside for three days, Shuichi is extra annoying. Eiri's story gets deleted and he's not to happy...Things end up spiraling out of control and getting worse.
1. Heartstorm

Disc. I don't own these characters. I wish I did.

Ooh! Revised version! R&R... Constructive criticism's okay... If you flame, however, LEAVE YOUR E-MAIL. I'd want to reply to your flamage _directly_.

**It Was A Dark And Stormy Night...**

A dark-haired teen sat by the window. It has been raining for nearly four days straight and he was bored out of his mind, to put it mildly. A localized power outage just so happened to have effected NG and the surrounding area, meaning that he couldn't go to work and that he had about seven hours more unwanted free time. It also meant that when he finally _did _manage to get to work, he'd have to alternate between dodging bullets and criticism just to be able to make that stupid release deadline.

Also, Yuki was being mean.

He refused to drive him anywhere, even if he_ insisted _that just a little half-hour drive would keep him out of Yuki's hair for maybe a whole entire day. Yuki spoke sharply without turning away from his work; He doubted that a drive through the torrential rain would satisfy Shuichi's restlessness for even a minute, and that he didn't really want to be stuck in a traffic jam or a puddle two feet deep with an annoying kid, especially when he had a story to finish.

"I have a deadline, too. That doesn't stop me from - "

"Annoying me constantly?"

"NO. That's_ not _what I was going to say. I was going to..."

Shuichi peered at the computer screen.

"Hey, Yuki?"

The author grunted in reply.

"When are you gonna be finished?"

"Whenever I'm finished."

With a sigh, Shuichi put his arm through Yuki's and placed his head on his shoulder. After a few strained clicks of the keyboard;

"I can't type with you like that."

"Sorry."

Yuki continued his typing. A minute later;

"You're breathing down my neck."

"Sorry!"

Click-click-click-click-click-cli-

"You're on my mouse pad."

"SORRY!" Shuichi wailed.

"Why don't you go to bed? You're much less annoying when you sleep. "

"Hey, that's-"

"Can't you just LEAVE?"

"FINE! I'm going! To bed!"

"Good."

"Fine."

"Good!"

"Fine!"

"GOOD!"

"FINE!"

A crash of thunder interrupted their bickering. All the lights in the house save for Yuki's laptop screen went out. A gentle whimper came from behind him.

"I never knew you were afraid of the dark, Shindou."

"I'm not. I'm scared of the storm."

"Oh, that's so much better."

"You're being mean again, Yuki."

Another grunt.

"Night, Eiri-san."

"Don't call me that."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Shuichi lay awake in the bed. A flash of lightning illuminated his wide eyes before he closed them tightly in fear. He could hear Yuki typing from the next room, the steady clatter of the keys lulling him past consciousness until the next thunder clap.

He knew the fear was irrational.

But ever since the time Hiro and him had gone camping and they had been caught in the storm... He still could remember the noise the tree had made when it had toppled onto his best friend, nearly killing him. He would never forget...

He cocooned himself within the sheets and shouted for Yuki.

There was one more huge explosion of sound before Shuichi launched himself from the bed and into the adjoining room.

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"Yuki."

He could hear him calling from the next room. Stupid kid. Like a baby.

"Yuki."

He tried to block out the noise and hunched over the keyboard. He needed to finish this story before the reserve battery power ran out.

_"Sachi; how could you ever think I didn't love you?" Tetsuko's heart ached at the downcast eyes of the women before him._

Yuki rubbed his eyes and read over his work. Women? God, This was sounding like something Tatsuha would do.

"Yuki."

_"I love you. You can't ever forget that. Never." He bent to kiss her gently. He took her hand gedfshtnsush ssgt ger_

Another crash of lightning startled the author.

"Yuki."

He sighed and held down the Delete key.

_Tetsuko's heart ached at the downcast eyes of the woman before him. "I love you. You can't ever forget that. Never." He bent to kiss her gently. He took her hand and brought it to his lips. As the last rays of sunset disappeared from the sky, _

"Yuki."

_he made a silent promise that he would never hurt her again._

There. He was finished. Tomorrow when his editor came over, he would hand her the disk with a smug look on his face and she would say how impressed she was that he had made the deadline without her hassling him about it. Hopefully, Shuichi would be out of the house and wouldn't embarrass himself in front of a grownup. Maybe if he _was_ in the house, He would stay quiet while she was here and maybe Yuki would take him someplace after, or maybe-

Another eruption of noise filled the air. He could feel the whole apartment building shake.

"YUKIIIII!"

He stood and turned abruptly before something dove into his chest at high speed. His hand fell onto the desk in a vain effort to sturdy himself. He gasped as he realized that the keyboard was under his fingers.

Yuki turned back towards the computer and Shuichi was simultaneously dislodged from his waist.

His eyes widened as he studied the empty screen.

"No..."

He tapped a few keys.

"That's supposed to bring it back... This can't be happening! Please, please,_ please_!"

"Y-Yuki?"

"Please, please..."

"Are you done?"

Smoldering blue eyes frightened him into silence.

"What do you mean, am I done?" Yuki's vehement hiss brought out another whimper.

"I...I-"

"You just deleted my entire story, dammit! How can I be done if it's as if I've never even started?"

"I'm sorry, Yu- I'm sorry..."

"Sorry? SORRY! Well guess what! This time sorry isn't good enough!"

Sobs shook the younger one's body.

"So you're crying now. Crying's not gonna bring my story back!"

"Yuki..."

"Shut up. You should have left a long time ago."

He began to turn back to the glowing computer screen.

"Yuki? Is there any way I could help? Because I-"

"I said shut UP!"

Shuichi staggered back as blood began to spurt from his nose.

"You hit me."

Stars danced behind his eyes. He hadn't even seen the fist that had come up to connect with the side of his skull.

"Yuki!"

He bent, stomach twisting. He had to get out of here before...

"Stop it..." He choked and almost threw up.

"Get out."

A low growl caused him to look up.

"Yuki..."

"GET OUT!"

With an expression of pure terror, Shuichi turned and ran. He left the apartment and nearly fell down the darkened stairwell. He left the building and was instantly drenched in a flood of torrential rain. He left the life he had grown accustomed to, and the person he had loved for so long.

He arrived at the apartment of his best friend, Hiroshi Nakano, dripping as he stood outside the door. Tears and blood mingled on his face.

The door opened.

"Oh my god, Shuichi..."

That was the last thing he remembered before his world was plunged into darkness.

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"Damn him."

Yuki finished retyping the fifth page of his deleted story. A dejected sigh, then the last click of the night as he pressed the Exit button.

_Save changes to 'Untitled Document' ?_

"What the-?"

He looked at the bottom of the screen and saw the two tabs indicating the two documents opened. He minimised the window labled 'Untitled Document'. Blood drained from his face.

_he made a silent promise that he would never hurt her again._

His story.

When he hit the keyboard... He must have... the 'New Document' command... No wonder the 'Undo' didn't work... It was on a different page entirely.

"Oh my god..."

He sank further in his chair and dropped his head back onto the seat.

He'd have some explaining to do in the morning.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**A/N:** In case you didn't know, what happened is that when Yuki touched his keyboard, he also opened a new document. I did that once and I freaked out for a full ten minutes before I realized that there were two programs open at the bottom of the screen.


	2. Betrayal

Okay, everybody! Here's the second chapter! But they might be OOCy. Are they OOCy? If they are, tell me. I think Shuichi might be a bit less spazzy than normal. He's certainly holding back a bit more than usual. The wording's a bit strange at some points, and there are like a million run on sentences. You have been warned!

**...And Now a Bright and Sunny Morning**

He woke to a quiet sunrise and an unknown bed. For a second, he did not know where he was, but then the previous night's events came flooding back to him. with a muffled wail, he rolled onto his bruised stomach and forced his head beneath the pillows.

He was at Hiro's house, in Hiro's bed, and wearing Hiro's warm, flannel pajamas opposed to the rain-soaked clothes he had shown up in. An odd, sighing laugh escaped his throat. He must have looked absolutely horrible when he had shown up at the door!

He had got to stop appearing like this.

He turned onto his side and pulled the pillow from his head.

"I'm a leech!"

"You just figured that out?"

Hiro stood at the door, smirking and working out the kinks in his neck.

"While you slept like a rock in here, I was stuck on the not-so-comfy couch. Thanks to you, I won't be able to look at my guitar for a week!"

"Sorry."

Shuichi sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed, misjudged his momentum and landed in a heap on the floor.

"Don't be sorry,"

Hiro pulled him from the ground.

"You're my friend. It's the least I could do."

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"I hurt him. I _really _hurt him. Why would he want to come back?"

Yuki stared at the cordless phone; its little neon screen taunting him. Shuichi's number blinked out - the phone deciding that it wasn't needed. He retyped the number, slumping down in his office chair and sighing.

"I should just get it _over_ with!"

There was a soft _beep_ as the phone cleared its screen.

259-3741 _call._

"That wasn't so hard now, was it?"

He started as Shuichi's ring tone cut through the near-silence of the apartment.

"Of _course _he wouldn't have it with him! He was in his _boxers_, dammit!"

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"Are you hungry?"

"No."

"Do you want something to drink?"

"No, I'm okay."

"Are you tired?"

"What?"

"Should I take that as a yes?"

"Nnnh..."

"Looks like you had a long night."

Shuichi sat on Hiro's lumpy couch, watching his fried stir something before taking a quick swallow.

"What happened, anyway?"

"Huh? Oh, Yuki kicked me out."

"Well I know _that_, but what happened _after _that?"

"What do you mean 'What happened after that'?"

An impatient sigh.

"When I was fixing you up, your stomach was starting to bruise, your nose wouldn't stop bleeding and you had a goose egg on your head the size of my fist. don't tell me nothing happened after he kicked you out."

Ice settled in the pit of Shuichi's stomach. Hiro didn't really approve of Yuki, and even though he promised to support his friend every step of the way, the fact that Yuki had laid a seriously violent hand on him would probably send Hiro over the edge.

"Yuki hit me."

Hiro choked on his drink.

He didn't know why he had to say it so straightforward like that. His mouth was always running on autopilot.

"He _hit _you?"

"I deleted his story."

Like an explanation would make it any better.

The electrical hum of lights, a failing analog clock and the distant sounds of a traffic jam all merged to make a heavy faux silence.

"Are you going back this time?"

Hiro's eyes were dark and somber.

"I don't know. Maybe."

A _bang _startled Shuichi as the bottom of Hiro's glass violently met the end table.

"Why should you?"

"Hiro, I've always -"

"I know, I know... You've always gone back, and he's always kicked you out and then you're always going back again... but this time is _different_! This time he _hurt _you! I can't _stand _that you'd let him walk all over you and then go back to him, but I guess you're weird that way..."

"Hir?"

"Yes?"

"Are you pissed?"

"Do you want me to be honest about that?"

Shuichi gave a curt nod.

"Actually," he said wryly, "I'm not sure. I'd like to think that when it comes to Yuki i actually have some say in what you eventually do.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Hiro flopped defeatedly onto the couch.

"It means that when I drive you over to Yuki's I'll be waiting outside for your ass to get kicked out again."

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Most people have a hard time writing with a distraction.

Some people have a hard time writing without a distraction.

Apparently Yuki was one of them.

Deciding to get a jump on his next novel while he had 'proper writing conditions' proved to be near impossible. It was hard trying to write when Shuichi wasn't around. Of course it was hard when he _was_ around, but now the apartment was quiet.

Too quiet.

So in a vain attempt to get his mind off of his writers' block and the guilt from last night, Yuki tried to take a nap.

Usually, Shuichi would want him to get up and take him somewhere. Or worse - he would want to make something so Yuki could fall asleep easier. Sometimes he would try to take a nap, too; Yuki spent enough energy fighting him off that once his heart rate slowed he would fall victim to a deep, restful sleep in a matter of minutes.

This time however, there was absolutely no way to effectively burn off his energy due to the absence of you-know-who. Lying in between the sheets with thoughts whirling chaotically through his mind wasn't as tranquilizing as say...listening to a relaxation tape.

He was about to drag himself out of bed and go look for his before he remembered that it had wrecked in the player a few days ago when Shuichi was trying to calm him down. It wasn't really his fault - he knew how to work a tape player. _This _time he was merely a victim of circumstance. Even so...

Maybe he _should_ have kicked him out that day even though it was raining. Maybe if he _had _kicked him out he would have had time to get his anger straightened out before he did something serious.

Like hitting Shuichi.

That was serious.

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"Are you really sure that you want to go back _today_? I mean, he could still be mad."

Hiro felt his friend either cringe, nod, or shrug behind him as the motorcycle zipped through the side streets and under the now clear skiestowards Yuki's house.

"I mean, we could always wait a few days or something. It's not like he'll disappear.

A look of thought crossed his features.

"Or maybe he will."

Shuichi dropped his head against Hiro's back and moaned.

"You're _supposed _to be _reassuring _me..."

Hiro patted one of the arms slipped around his waist.

"Of _course_ he wouldn't be gone! He loooves you - he's been with you for _months _now. there's absolutely _no _reason why he would leave except for the fact that you annoy the _hell_ out of him! Of course _you'll_ never know whether or not he'll want to _kiss_ you or _kill _you based on his Defunct Emotion of the Day, but that's all fine and dandy because no matter_ what_ he does to you, you'll always_ run _right back into his _loving arms_!"

Shuichi pretended not to notice the prominent sarcasm.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The doorbell drew Yuki from a fitful slumber.

It took nearly all of his willpower to think about climbing out of bed and even _more_ to actually_ do _it.

He was about halfway to the door when he realized that he had a _major _case of bedhead and as well as no shirt and an unzipped fly. There was absolutely _no way _he was going to go back to his room and put on a top.

Figuring that whoever it was would just have to deal with his 'indecency' and that 'whoever' was either his editor or Shuichi's overprotective friend - He ran his fingers through his hair, pulled up his pants, opened the door and greeted the person on the other side.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm glad to see you, too."

"Did Mika send you?"

"Not this time. Come to think of it, she's never sent me."

As an afterthought he added -

"I feel so _wanted_."

"You shouldn't. Do you realize what time it is?"

"And exactly _why_ can't I drop in at three o'clock in the afternoon?"

"I don't know. Think of a reason. I'm busy."

"Oh... Is Shuichi in there with you?"

"No. Besides, you would've heard him complaining. I'm brooding."

"Then seeing as this place is otherwise unoccupied, may I come in?"

"Sure, Tohma."

Yuki plastered on a fake smile.

"Come on in."

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"Is now really such a good time?"

Shuichi pondered as he doggedly marched up the stairs.

"Maybe I_ should've_ let Hiro come."

He could imagine the scenario - him stumbling over the same useless apologies over and _over_ again - Yuki becoming more and more frustrated by the second. He'd say something sarcastic to shut him up and then Hiro would start in on Yuki for being such a cold heartless bastard. They'd probably start fighting and somebody would call the police to take them away. Bad Luck would then have Bad Media Coverage - probably something about their crazy guitarist attacking famous author Eiri Yuki.

The the reporters were bound to ask _him_ what they thought about of the situation he'd lose all his 'cool' and spill the whole story about him and Yuki and the fight they had about the computer and -

Maybe it was a good thing Hiro hadn't come.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Eiri?"

The author nodded, rummaging in his drawers trying to find a decent shirt.

"I've been thinking about this for a long time... I don't know how to tell you..."

"Me _what_, Tohma?" He selected a light blue polo shirt with white cuffs.

"I don't - I mean I-"

"Come on, _Toh-chan, _spit it out."

"Stop _badgering _me; let me _think_ for a second and maybe I'll be able to -"

"No, seriously. I have to go and -

_find Shuichi_

"- pick some stuff up."

Tohma Seguchi took a step forward and kissed him hard on the mouth.

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"Front door's open. That's strange."

Shuichi pushed gently and the door swung into the wall.

He was greeted with an unusual silence - usually there would be the soft clicking of Yuki's keyboard or the monotonous hum of the microwave and the television on with the volume turned all the way up.

"Maybe he _did_ leave. I wouldn't put it past him...When he gets upset..."

Shuichi spoke animatedly to the empty room.

"I should check." He frowned slightly and wrung his hands.

_He's gone again._

_And it's my fault; Just like before._

"I can't give up now..." He said decidedly to himself.

He strode towards Yuki's bedroom door and threw it open with a bang.

"Seguchi?"

OoOoOoOoOoOo

For once in his oh-so-perfect life, Tohma Seguchi was faced with a - heaven forbid - difficult situation.

Yuki's current boyfriend had just flung open his bedroom door where Tohma was caught standing mouth-to-mouth with a surprised and topless Eiri. He quickly assessed the situation and knowing Shuichi wouldn't fall for the 'he was changing and he choked on a french fry and I had to do CPR with him standing up' routine, decided to try plan B and hoped Yuki would be stunned and sane enough _not _to kill him.

Well, here goes.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"You interrupted us, Shindou."

Shuichi made a noise halfway between a hiccup and a moan.

"What?"

"Me and Eiri..." Tohma slid his arms around Yuki's waist, "Were busy."

"Na...ni? Yuki? is he telling the truth?" Shuichi's face crumpled and his eyes filled with tears.

"_My _Yuki." Tohma placed his head on Yuki's bare chest.

"Tohma..."

His lips traced Yuki's collar bone and Shuichi made one of those funny noises again

"Tohma, it's not funny anymore."

"It wasn't funny last night, either."

Yuki gripped Tohma's upper arms - _hard _- and the offending hands fell from his hips.

"Look, Tohma. What do you think you're - "

"It's okay, I guess."

Shuichi sniffed and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

"It's not like I made your life better, anyways."

Yuki sighed and let go of Tohma.

"You shouldn't say stuff like that, Shu."

"Why not! It's true."

Yuki didn't say anything and Shuichi interpreted his silence as agreement.

"That's why you'd want to be with Tohma..."

"No, Shuichi. I don't want - "

"Yes you do. I _know _you do. You say I'm stupid, lazy... I can't write worth _shit_... Of course you'd want him; After he brought you to New York and after what happened -you can still love him unconditionally... I delete your story and you beat me up and kick me out!"

"Shuichi? About that...It was sort of a misunderstanding. You see - "

"Door, Yuki."

"What?"

Four sound knocks came again at the door. Yuki sighed and once again returning to his disgruntled author mode left his room and went to answer the door.

Tohma picked the blue shirt up off of the floor and followed, Shuichi trailing behind him.

"Eiri!"

He tuned around and a wrinkled blue polo hit him in the face.

"Thanks, I guess."

He put it on before opening the door.

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"Konichiwa, Yuki-san. Have you got the manuscript?"

Kanna Mizuki smiled and waved from the doorway, completely countering Yuki's disdainful look.

Damn cheery editors.

"I haven't printed it out yet. Can I get it for you on a disk instead?"

"Hai! Dajibou, Yuki-san. Ikuzo!"

"Kami! It's morning! Can you not be so _happy_?"

"I'm sorry. But it's not morning and it's in the contract."

_Somehow, I seriously doubt that._

He walked briskly back to his study, grumbling about stupid job descriptions.

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He had it?

His story - How could he --!

What about last night?

Why would Yuki have done something like that if his story hadn't been deleted?

Maybe...

"I don't get it..."

"You wouldn't want to." Tohma's lips twitched into a grim smirk.

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"Here, Mizuki. It's the one called 'Heartstorm'. When's the next one due?"

"Oh, maybe in a couple of months? I'll have to get back to you on that one. Until then, you've got a few days off."

"Hurry up, okay? I need to sort out my busy schedule."

"As if. you never do anything anyways."

Yuki rolled his eyes in mock irritation.

"Get out of here. You're wasting precious loitering time."

"Arigatou, Yuki! See you later!"

"Sayonara."

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"So it wasn't gone?"

"Huh? oh, no, it wasn't."

"Then why'd you get so mad?"

"I...Uh..." Here, Yuki's face grew slightly redder.

"I... accidentally opened a new document."

"Then _why'd you get so mad_!"

"Shuichi - listen -"

"I'm not stupid you know!"

"What? I never said -"

"You probably were _fucking_ him. You kicked me out for no reason except to get _Tohma _to come over and-"

"You know that's not true."

"Do I?"

"I've changed Shuichi."

"You used to be straight and unfaithful and now you've just switched gender preferences!"

"Shuichi..."

"I'm going to Hiro's to... and..."

The air was thick with tension, and Yuki's anger flared.

"You - what? Get over here!"

"Don't order me around! I don't belong to you!"

"What -"

Shuichi turned to leave - Yuki grabbed his arm and roughly slammed him against the wall, wrists pinned. Something in the house shattered and something in his wrist popped.

"Owww...Yuki..."

"Listen, Shu. I am not in love nor will ever be in love with Seguchi."

"You're not in love with m- Yuki, My arm..."

"Quiet! I have never felt anything more than friendship - probably less than friendship now that he's -"

"Yuki - You're hurting me!"

"I don't care! Will you let me finish before you interrupt me with your stupid - "

Somehow he had gotten his hand loose. Blood rushed to Yuki's battered face where Shuichi had slapped him; He touched his bruised cheek and studied the blood on his fingers from where the boy's nails had bit into his skin.

"You don't care. that's _exactly_ why I'm leaving."

"I didn't mean it like that..."

"Too bad."

"Shuichi?"

"No."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm leaving."

"Shuichi?"

"No! I said _no_! what part of NO don't you understand?"

Shuichi stepped backwards towards the door.

"I'm sorry. I need time to think, Yuki. Don't call me."

He stepped out of the apartment and closed the door roughly behind him.

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"He's gone."

"You've still got me."

Yuki gave Tohma an incredulous look.

"It was a joke!"

"You do realize it's your fault."

Tohma said nothing.

"Half my life just walked out that door because of your _stupid _-"

_Half my life?_

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"Hey, Shu. You seem different."

He took the motorcycle helmet from Hiro's outstretched hand.

"Take me somewhere, Hiro."

He pulled the helmet firmly over his head.

"Wh - Where?"

"Anywhere. Anywhere but here."

Hiro started the bike's engine.

"Are you okay?"

_It's all over..._

Shuichi sobbed into his best friend's jacket.


	3. Questions

**Gomen. **I took so long! However, I _am _almost done the rough copy for up to chapter six!

**Please review this time**. It lets me know you care. I also revised the first2 chapters.

"Shuichi..."

Both of them lay on their backs in the grass, sunset to their left. There was water on two sides of them - by their feet and to the west.

"Shu, are you okay?"

Without responding, he turned away from his friend and let his fingers trail through the green.

"Shuichi?"

"You were right."

"Shui - "

"You were right! Okay, Hiro? This time _was _different!"

"Shuichi, what do you mean?"

"He doesn't need me... He never has..."

"Hey - "

"_Seguchi_-san's with him now! I hope you're happy!"

"Why should I be happy? I don't - "

"You _should_ be happy! _You _got what _you_ wanted! _You_ don't have to deal with him anymore! Now _you_ don't have to watch me - _You're_ the one who can't stand me letting him walk all over me like that - "

"Shuichi!"

"Hiro!"

"What!"

They were on their knees and facing each other, Shuichi's tear-streaked face vehement in the twilight.

"I told him not to call me."

"Hmm."

"I miss him."

"Yeah?"

"I don't even have my phone."

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_Shu-chan's Phone_

The words blurred and split into two before Yuki's eyes. It was hard to figure out how to call someone when their phone was here and they were only God knows where.

It was even trickier to do this after something so earthshaking had happened. From very close man-friend to insufferable guardian, Tohma had become a schism in a potentially successful relationship - and it was his sister's husband, no less! He didn't want to be the next person Mika saw if - when - somebody told her. It wouldn't be a secret for long.

And Shuichi...

He'd come back, right? He always come back. He came back this afternoon - he always returned after he got kicked out so why should this time be any different?

_Because I didn't kick him out._

_He left._

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"Tohma? Are you home?"

Mika's voice floated up from the first floor.

"Tohma?"

_If I ignore her, maybe she'll go away._

Tohma was half asleep and completely irrational.

"Tohma! I see your car out siii-iiide! I know you're here!"

"Ugh."

"He had his head on his side of the bed, his body everywhere else, and his eyes wide open when Mika turned on the bedroom lights. With a growl, he quickly clapped his hands over his face.

"Sorry, Honey."

Once his eyes adjusted, he could still see the smile playing about her lips.

"Oh, Toh, I was gonna ask - what do you think?"

"Think about what?"

"You can't tell me you didn't notice! I got my hair done today - I like it but I thin Dad's gonna have a fit next time I see him!"

Tohma sat up to get a better view of her hair. She was looking into the mirror, and now straight blonde locks reached the middle of her back. She turned to face him and his eyes widened, only now realizing how much the Uesugi children looked alike.

"Tohma? Toh, are you okay?"

"You...Yu - "

"Don't you like it?"

"I..."

"What's wrong, Tohma?"

"It's my fault..."

"Tohma?"

"I messed up his life..."

"What?"

"Ngh..."

"Look, is this still about my hair?"

"Mm - mm.."

He shook his head. his breath hitched in his chest and he choked.

"Hey! Hey, do you need something to drink?"

Mika pounded her coughing husband's back.

"Eiri..."

"What about Eiri? Tohma... Tohma, are you crying?"

"I'm sorry... Mika..."

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"Yo, Aniki, 'sup?"

"What is this, Unwanted Visitors Night?"

"Ha-Ha. Very funny, Yuki."

Yuki narrowed his eyes at his brother as he slid past him and into the house.

"Have you been playing Reno in FFVII again?"

"_No._ I'm more of a Cloud man myself. Besides - Reno's an NPC."

"Whatever."

Yuki closed and locked the door behind him. He _really _didn't want anyone else sneaking in

"You see his bike in 'Advent Children'?"

Tatsuha had already helped himself to the beer in Yuki's fridge.

"Not yet. I had a deadline to meet."

The author followed his brother's lead. The drink slopped over his hand and onto the floor urging not-so-mild oaths from the hot tempered man.

"Bad day, Yuki? Don't think I've ever heard someone say _that _to a mess."

"No comment." Yuki handed a mop to his little brother before heading to the kitchen to flop down on the couch and grab the remote.

"Yu?" Tatsuha leaned the mop against the wall and stepped over the spill towards his brother.

"What?"

"It's a kick-ass bike."

"Huh? What do you - Oh. 'Advent Kids'. Yeah."

"It's Advent _Children_. It's got sword attachments and everything. The bike, I mean."

"Yeah?"

"And hot chicks."

"The bike."

"No. The movie. And there's this one guy... Kadaj."

"Ka...daj?"

"Yeah. You know - I can get you some."

"Some Kadajes?"

"_No._ Hot chicks. Kadaj is mine, anyway."

"What?"

"Nothing. Hot chicks."

They were silent for a moment. The announcer for a live television show was introducing the next event. One of the tech guys darted on stage and whispered something to him. His face grew red and the audience roared.

"Are you okay, Yuki?"

"Hn. I - Yeah. Why?"

"Well... I'm not supposed to tell, but Mika - "

"Hey, is that one of my cigarettes?"

Tatsuha looked quizzically at the ignited stick of plant and paper that he held between his fingers.

"Uh...Yes?"

Yuki's icy eyes narrowed.

"You'd be dead right now, except I want to know what Mika did to get you to come over here. After you tell me, I'll decide whether I'm gonna kill you or not."

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"Tohma?"

He lay on his side facing away from his wife. His eyes were wide open even though the lights were off.

"I sent Tatsuha to Eiri's to check up on him - to see if he's alright. I'm a little worried, you know - last time you were like this something really bad had happened to him."

Tohma sighed gently, but he still didn't move or reply.

"I'm going to wait up a bit longer... You know, to see if Tatsuha's called back. Good nigh, Tohma."

She closed the door almost all the way then stopped as if she had forgotten something.

"I love you, Toh."

If he showed up at work tomorrow with red eyes it would give him a bad image.

He really should stop crying.

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"So he kissed you?"

"Yes."

"On the mouth?"

"Yes."

"In front of Shuichi?"

"Yes."

"_Shuichi_?"

"Yes, we've established that fact already."

Yuki drained his can of beer and added it to the small collection he had started. Number five.

"If you keep going at that rate, you'll make it into the Guinness Book of Records."

"Yeah, as the most brain-dead. Want another?"

"No. I've gotta call Mika, then I've gotta get home. I've got some uh..._ friends_ waiting for me there."

"Yeah..."

"So I guess I'll see you later?"

"Wait a sec! You're gonna tell Mika?"

"Yeah, she wanted to know what was - "

"You can't!"

"What? But you - "

"Forget it! Just - don't call, okay? Or call and tell her everything's fine. Don't tell her what I said, okay"

"Why - ?"

"Because. Just..."

He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself - trying to explain to his little brother why even this man had caused him to lose the one sincere relationship he had ever had he still didn't want to hurt him. Even if he had done something so wrong that Yuki had begun to hate him for it...

"He would do everything for me. Can't we... just don't tell Mika. This time."

_Just grant him this one indiscretion._

"I guess it's okay,"

Tatsuha looked troubled - worried?

"You want me to call you a cab?"

"No. I'm walking to the bus stop."

"You better start walking before they start running."

"Yeah."

"Mm - hmm."

Tatsuha unlocked and opened the front door.

"Are you sure?"

"Sure of what?"

"You don't want me to call her?"

"I'm sure."

Tatsuha nodded and started to close the door behind him.

"'Bye, Yuki."

"Later."

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"Shuichi?"

His friend groaned and stirred on the grass.

"Wake up. We're gonna head back to my place."

"Ugh... Hiro?"

"Come on, Shuichi."

"How long was I out?"

"Few hours."

Shuichi stood up shakily. Stretched; yawned.

"I'm all stiff."

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah... My back hurts."

"Shuichi?"

Hiro turned to face his friend. Shuichi gave him a funny little half-smile; his eyes were haunted. Defeated.

"It's gonna be okay, Shu."

Hiro pulled the smaller boy close to him, and he could feel warmth and tears against his neck.

"It still hurts... I wasn't ready to let go..."

_It hurts me, too. It hurts me to see you like this, Shuichi. I want to see you smile again... As long as you keep your faith in me... I'll help you hold on._

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Miles away, moving at high speed through traffic, a young man on a bus stared at his cell phone, contemplating.

A minute later, he held the phone to his ear.

"Mika? Is that you?"

He paused, breathing heavily, nearly suffocated by the enormity of what he was about to do.

"Mika... I have to tell you something."

**A/N:**


	4. Answers To the Questions

Wow, that was fast! Well... for me anyways. Actually... it wasn't. Oo

This chapter scares me. _Really._ This might even count as a left-handed warning. We all know Yuki has some sort of personality disorder? So it comes into play here. >- . I am not trying to be offensive or anything - _anything - _but if you have any problems with any part of this let me know what I can do to remedy it. I'd like to keep my readers, thank you very much. TTTT.

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Mika stood over her husband watching him sleep. His face held none of the chronic cynicism it usually did during his waking hours. He almost looked like a different person... He almost looked _human._

_Positively angelic_.

Mika's blank face hid a smirk. He was anything but an angel.

She was all packed and ready to leave. She had called a taxi and was planning to stay at her father's for a while, before spending the next few weeks at Noriko's. She hoped that her friend wouldn't let it slip that Mika was present if and when Tohma called her.

Dammit - why did everybody in this stupid manga know each other?

He must have felt her gaze upon him. He half opened his emerald eyes and Mika met them sternly.

"Tatsuha called me last night."

Tohma's eyes widened in understanding.

"He told me what happened with you and Yuki."

Eyes closed.

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry."

"That's all?"

He could feel the disdain from his soon-to-be-ex-wife's gaze. He knew he was digging his grave deeper by saying nothing.

"I'm leaving, Tohma. I just thought I'd say goodbye."

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"Hey, Shuichi. You're up early."

Hiro had walked into the kitchen to see his friend sitting at the table staring aimlessly into space.

"Hey, Hiro."

"You doin' alright?"

"Oh... yeah. Great,"

Hiro raised his eyebrows. His friend was a _terrible _liar.

"Terrific. I got a call from Sakano yesterday when you were asleep. NG is back on line."

"Awesome. I'm so _happy._"

"Great! I'm glad you're so enthusiastic because we also get to re-record all of our music! The file wasn't saved or closed on the computer so guess what happened before the computer's emergency generator turned on!"

Shuichi let his head drop onto the table with a _thunk_!

"Ya-frickin-hoo."

"Don't be so excited about it. Here."

He reached into his cupboard and handed Shuichi a container of instant ramen. He didn't move to take it.

"Not hungry."

"You have to eat _something _to be able to last the day."

"I don't intend to last the day."

"You're such a pessimist."

"Affirmative."

He slumped down in his seat.

"'Affirmative'? Whoa, you must really be screwed up."

"I know. It's not fair."

Hiro sighed, reversing a chair and straddling it. He rested his chin on the back of the seat and stared searchingly at his best friend.

"You know... you can't mope all the time. Remember -_ you_ walked out on him,_ you _said for him not to call you, that _you _needed time to think So _think _already and if you want to go back _go_ - if you want me to help you pick out a new place, fine. If all you're gonna do is whine about how much you miss your koi-chan Yuki-poo honey darling... I'm not letting you stick around to bog _me _down with _your _messed up shit."

Hiro stood and pushed the chair back under the table. He stretched out his arms.. cracked his back.

"I'm getting dressed, Shu."

"I'm gonna be out of the shower in ten minutes. If you need to use it, use it then. At... eight-thirty I'm gonna be heading out the door. If you're not with me, I'm not waiting. You can call a cab or a bus or wait here until K breaks the door down, but if you really want a ride that bad, I'll let you sit on my bike."

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_I can't deal with this anymore. If I try to, I'll explode. I won't be able to hold my emotions any longer. I... everyone is... leaving. Everyone is leaving me all alone - here in the darkness. It's pushing me... forcing me towards myself from all sides and forcing me to face what I've become. I'm suffocating. With my last breath I scream for help... No one hears me and I am forced under again... forever._

_I am drifting through unending pain, hate... fear. I don't remember what's caused it; It's been going on for so long... _

_It's so _cold _where I am... I yearn for the warmth of an others touch. I am so unclean, so wrong... Why do I see disgust in the eyes of those I wish to call friend? _

_I hurt people - How is it that I can make the ones I love weep endlessly. They don't need this torture. My very existence is pain for them. I yearn for an escape. I do not deserve the life I have._

_I wish I weren't._

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"Today's gonna be a rotten day."

Shuichi pulled on Hiro's extra helmet and lay against his friend's back. He half-shut his eyes and slid his arms around Hiro's waist. He sighed somewhat contentedly, but then he remembered who the strong body in front of him_ wasn't..._

"Shuichi - thinking one happy thought won't kill you." Hiro pulled off his helmet and turned around to face him.

"No, but it'll cause severe discomfort."

"Ooh, more big words. I'm shocked."

"Hmm."

He let go of his friend's waist.

"You ready to go?"

"Hey - You know what I think? You're not a morning person."

"What?"

"'Cuz last night and the night before you were nice to me - but whenever I wake up it seems like... you start criticizing me about Yuki - about the_ both_ of us - "

"I'm sorry. Listen, I -"

"- and you just won't _stop_! You can see I'm still suffering; I _know _you do and you say you wanna help me out so I'm not so... but whenever you do , it sounds like you _wanted _us to break up or..."

"I said I was sorry, why - "

"You also said it was gonna be okay. How can it be okay if you're my best friend and your acting so--awful?"

"I'm only trying to help! and besides, you're _so_ dependant on Yuki -"

"You may be trying to help but you're being an asshole, Hiroshi. You're being stupid and annoying and you should just drop it already."

He saw his friend's jaw clench and felt his body tense.

"Fine."

Hiro pulled his helmet firmly over his head. He faced front on his bike and started it up.

Shuichi hesitantly returned his arms to Hiro's waist.

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"You idiot! You fucking idiot!

Tatsuha Uesugi gasped in surprise and pain as he was thrown to the floor and against the table by his older brother.

"How could you tell her? How could - I trusted you!"

"I - "

The younger boy struggled to regain his footing.

"Don't give me any of your goddamn excuses!"

He shoved him again, this time onto the table. A glass fell on the tile floor and Tatsuha's bare foot landed in the debris.

"Aagh! Eiri!"

Yuki crunched through the glass with his brown loafers - having just barged into his brother's kitchen. When he had woken up that morning, he had received a teary message from Mika - she wanted to know if he was alright and told him that she would be at dad's place the next few days. she was leaving Tohma.

"Why the hell would you - do you know what you've _done_?"

"Ei - please - let me... Ahh... Ah!"

He drove his brother violently into the wall.

Yuki brought their faces close together. almost touching.

"Why did you tell her?" his voice was deadly calm.

"Eiri, I - "

"_Why did you have to tell her_?"

The last syllable of his outburst was accented by the sound of his brother's head hitting the wall. Tatsuha's eyes widened in pain.

"_Aniki_! I'm sorry!"

"Yeah, well, you should be."

"I'm sorry.. I just - didn't want to lose you again..."

"What?" He wasn't sure he heard right.

"When you came back from New York..."

"What are you talking about?"

"Something had changed about you... I was scared, and no one would tell me what happened... I don't wanna live with that again, Eiri!"

"What are you...?"

"You left home six years ago and I couldn't wait for you to come back. When you finally did, I didn't recognize you... I'm sorry if I hurt you... I thought I was doing the right thing!"

Something changed behind Yuki's eyes and he stopped.

"Tatsuha? Tatsuha, did I do this?"

His hands were uncomfortably stiff as he let go of his brother.

"Tatsuha, oh my god..."

The sick feeling that enveloped him was all too familiar.

Tatsuha stood, shocked, as his older brother - angry at him just a few moments ago - shrank from him and backed into the corner.

"I can't believe this... Tat..."

This was just like when he had opened the second document.

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"Oh, check this out."

Miru Kajiami - owner of a psychiatric P.H.D. for seven years - picked up a piece of paper from the floor of her empty waiting room.

Her secretary looked up from his work.

"What is it, Kajiami-san?"

"Prescription. Pretty old, too."

"Old? How old?"

"Three weeks, actually. A mood disorder... no, _personality _disorder patient. Oh, wow..."

"Wow..."

"Tateo-san?"

"Hai?"

"Can you call Mr. Uesugi Eiri? If he's not there, leave a message. Tell him he has a prescription to pick up."

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Just though I'd let you know... I intend to make things worse before they get better. This might sound somewhat sadistic and evil but let's not forget that the _real _mean thing to do would be to leave them all emo. Or have them die.;) Umm... everything will turn out okay in the end. I think.  
This seems somewhat shorter than normal. I cut so much stuff out of here it's not even funny. However, I think I've made up for that with numerous author's notes.

**And if you've come this far - I mean reading the fourth chapter and all - you can bother to post a ****REVIEW****. I'm not asking for anything particularly intelligible; a simple 'Good story' will suffice. I might even allow a 'Yo'.**


	5. And Questions 'Bout the Answers

All my readers... I give you: AN EARLY CHAPTER!

If you look at all of my update dates , you will find that this is the fastest I have ever posted a chapter. Everyone who's stuck with the story up 'till now, thank the Windsorite secondary school Professional Development day. We get a three-day weekend! And no anti-shounen-ai _parents _lookin' over my shoulder! They've got work! Yesssss!

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Hiro and Shuichi arrived at NG before their other band mate and manager. They lived a little farther out, and and might not have checked their messages until this morning. Thus - they would have rushed to get changed and arrive at work on time, be unsuccessful, and get there extremely surprised because for once in their entire career Shindou Shuichi would have arrived _before_ them.

A miracle. No - really.

Never gonna happen again.

Shuichi stood at Suguru's synth, picking out a rhythm on the once-familiar black-and-white keys. He started playing some chords, then some music to go along with them...

"Hey... Hiro, d'you remember this song? From before we got this record label? This is from when we first started!"

"Hmm.." He nodded in reply, tuning his guitar.

"And I couldn't think up any lyrics... My sister said it was stupid 'cuz it had no sound..."

Hiro's fingers ran across his instrument, and the _twang _mixed in perfect harmony with Shuichi's sharps and flats.

"But when we played it together..."

A haunting, pleading sound filled the room. The song grew and swelled - the rhythm set pace with their heartbeats and chanted to their souls. The song spoke to them of everything that they've ever wanted that was a step too far away. Of the sickness of humanity that would never be healed.

But then as the last tones of their wordless ballad echoed through the air, clear notes showed the limitless future - the peace and life that could be achieved.

"That was so beautiful..."

The two boys - still somewhat lost in their own music - turned to face a sobbing Sakano.

"It - It's too bad that it can't go on to your next CD. 'Cuz there won't be a CD of course..."

"What do you mean?" Shuichi had a bad feeling...

"Didn't you hear? Didn't you get the call? Why do you think that K-san and Suguru-kun aren't here today? Shuichi's _never _early."

"You mean were..." Hiro's eyes grew large with anticipation.

Sakano nodded tearfully.

"It's a tragedy, really, to let such promising young men like yourselves go... I don't know what Shacho's thinking... He's been stressed... You can tell by his eyes... I'll talk to him... but I -"

Shuichi's face was pale and shocked.

"I can't guarantee anything. I'm s-sorry... You have to leave now. After today... Only employees are allowed in here."

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Mika had gotten the call on her way to her father's house. _Now _she had to make a detour. Her youngest brother's house was exactly the opposite direction of her father's house relative to where she had been staying. If this wasn't serious, Tatsuha would have to pay for her taxi and a bus to dad's place

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Shuichi stood in the middle of the studio floor which was empty except for the boxes in which the last year was packed. He was riveted to the spot, insipid face and blank eyes he looked almost zombified.

"Shu, we've gotta go. There's a van outside, waiting for us."

He remained where he was, trembling.

"Shuichi, let's go."

"No..."

Hiro stopped in the doorway, trying hard not to drop the box of equipment he was holding.

"What?"

Shuichi shook his head.

"Just... no. I'm not leaving here."

Hiro sighed and leaned up against the wall.

"You have to leave. Or else somebody will call the cops. Be reasonable. You can't sleep here."

Hiro put the box down, sensing the beginning of as lengthy conversation.

"I don't mean it like that! I... my whole _life _is here! I can't survive anywhere else."

"W can always get other jobs."

"I don't _want _another job! I wanna stick with NG! My _Idols _were created here! My _future _was created here! Hiro, can't you understand? Even though we might still be in the music business -"

"Music business? I never said -"

"It won't be the same! We won't have Mr. K, or Fujisaki - Nittle Grasper won't be hanging around or anything... We have to work to get our jobs back, Hiro!"

"Shuichi, listen, I -"

"We could get Suguru to talk to Tohma, or I could call Yuki and see if he would... But he probably wouldn't... I'll even talk to Tohma if I have to - Hiro, Hiro... We have to get our jobs back..."

"Shuichi!"

Hiro met his friend's wide-eyed expression with a reassuring smile.

"Calm down, Shu. The break'll be good for us. You seem really stressed already, y'know?"

Shuichi shook his head, teary eyed.

"C'mon."

Hiro put his arm around Shuichi's shoulder.

"You in the mood for exotic food? Let's go get some pizza!"

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"Hey."

"Tatsuha, what's wrong?"

"Eiri just got checked in. They don't really know what's up yet."

After a second call from her brother, Mika had met up with him at the local hospital. They sat in the reception area, waiting for a doctor or nurse to tell them whet was happening.

Mika paced on the tile floor, almost envying her youngest brother while he slumped in one of the cushioned chairs. She stopped suddenly; sighed.

"What happened?"

"Nnn?" Tatsuha looked up at her and rubbed his ear with a sleeve.

"At your place - what happened?"

"Oh. Uh..." Tatsuha righted himself in the seat before leaning towards the other side.

"He barged into by house. he broke one of my glasses and slammed me into the wall."

"So you called the police?"

His puzzlement turned to outrage.

"No! I... He started to get really upset all of a sudden. He let go of me and backed into a corner. I called the hospital."

"I can see that."

"So why'd you ask If I called the cops?"

She rolled her eyes and sat beside him.

"No reason. Go to sleep."

He promptly put his head on her shoulder. Mika shrugged

"This is a hospital waiting room, Tatsuha. Only big boys can stay here. Don't make me send you to the kiddie area."

Tatsuha sulked in his seat.

"Mika?"

"What?"

She rummaged in her purse for her compact mirror.

"I feel sick."

"Hung-over?" She had snapped open the compact and was now re-applying her makeup.

"No..." He moaned, "Mika, my head hurts."

"I don't know _why_ exactly I feel a pressing need to take care of you,"

She closed her mirror and returned it to her purse. She grabbed hold of Tatsuha's chin and turned his face towards her.

"Ouch."

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

She made a 'V' sign with her index and middle finger.

"What?"

"Are you sure _you _don't need to be admitted, too?"

She looked into his half-closed eyes - bleary and unfocused.

"I need to puke."

Mika all but shrieked.

"Not on my Vanderbilts, you don't! Come outside! Fast!"

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Admittedly, it wasn't a very wise decision. However, _HE _was the boss of this company and _he _could do what _he _wanted if he was pissy or whiny or depressed. And what _he _wanted to do was cause somebody pain. Someone _annoying_. He wanted to see them suffer.

What better way than firing Shuichi?

True - it was wrong. Cruel and cold hearted - it would probably cost the company most of their stock... But _he _felt entitled. He had given up most - if not all - of _everything _for one man and Shuichi had to go and take it all away.

And for what? Yuki was probably at home brooding and not taking his medication while Shuichi's friend and band mate Hiroshi tried to cheer him up. No doubt stuffing him full of some 'exotic' American food that wouldn't leave his system for _decades_. And if he ever _did_ return to the music business, he'd die of a clogged artery.

And with the way _his _luck was going, Tohma would probably lose the McDonald's lawsuit, too.

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They stood before a miniscule doctor - awaiting the verdict on their brother's health. The stony expression on the small man's face chilled them and they began to fear the worst.

"He's alright physically."

They breathed a sigh of relief.

"But we still don't know what happened to him _mentally_."

"Mentally? What do you mean?"

Mika's eyes narrowed in concern.

"I mean under normal circumstances, he wouldn't be acting the way he is. We're sending him up to neurology for a few CAT scans and an MRI. We're calling his psychiatrist and -"

"Wait, time out -" Mika held her hand up.

"He's seeing a shrink?"

Now it was the doctor's turn to look puzzled.

"Seeing as you're Uesugi-san's next-of-kin I assumed you knew...?

"No! No, he's never told us about this before, he - Tatsuha, did you know about this? Tatsuha? Tatsuha!"

He stood, expressionless.

The doctor edged closer to Mika, studying the silent teen.

"Is he... high, miss?"

"No! How could you - Tatsuha, are you okay?"

She stood in front of him and placed her hands on his shoulders, shaking him gently.

"Mika, my head hurts."

"Tatsuha? Hey, Tat...Oh my god...his ear's bleeding... Doctor... "

Tatsuha squeezed his eyes shut, trying to clear his vision.

"Mi...Where are we?"

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A/N Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!

Bag of cookies and a grapefruit (!) to anyone who can guess what happened to Tatsuha...

BTW...Shuichi used to play synth before Noriko (then Suguru) entered the band; Yeah, we all know pizza's not an exotic food, and even if they're in Japan, they've probably Americanized enough to _not _consider pizza other-worldly. Hiro's only joking... Maybe.


End file.
